The Golden Rule

I am Professor Duke and I shall now make you aware of the Golden Rule. The Golden Rule is a rule any proper pug must follow if they wish to be accepted into society. I shall also put the rules you must master if you wish to have an apprentice or be a successful member of pug society.


The Golden Rule: Lick. Lick very much. Lick always. Lick until you can lick no more and then lick more.


The Warmth Rule: When sleeping with two or more pugs you must pile up atop one another for a warmer experience.


The Loo Rule: When peeing you must be sure that you are peeing the highest of any pee that you can smell. Let no pug pee higher.


The Rule of Comfort: When sleeping in a comfortable place for the night or maybe just a short nap, which are never that short, you must make sure you are absolutely comfortable.


The Sleep Rule: When you feel yourself becoming tired fight it. If you cannot fight it, do not make a spectacle of yourself, just go to sleep.

The Food Rule: Eat. Eat anywhere. Eat everywhere. Eat if you have food. Never stop eating until your food stops coming.


Once you have mastered these rules, especially the Golden Rule, you are ready for an apprentice. Remember, these rules are important but you are encouraged to make up your own rules to follow, too. Thank you for reading.

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