The Weekly Pug (second installment)

It’s time for….the one….the only….The Weekly Pug! Hello to all and welcome to The Weekly Pug, a weekly newspaper. “A weekly newspaper about what?” you ask. It’s about pugs:

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Table of Contents:

The Funnies: A page in which Dr. Chazz shall tell jokes.

Pugstrology: A page in which Professor Duke will tell you your zodiac pug and your fortune depending on your date of birth.

The News: A page in which Dr. Chazz will tell you the news.

Ads: A page for fake ads.

The Funnies:

What’s cute, fluffy, and silly? A bunny? No! A fluffy bunny? No! It’s not a bunny! A pug? Yes! Finally!

I was looking at some cars, passing by my house, the other day and I started thinking, “You cars! You cars are on MY land! Get off MY land! Get off!” So, I barked and barked and barked.

Pugstrology:

January-Febuary: You’re Pugicious, the spotted pug, today you feel lazy. Your food might taste the same as usual and you might be waiting for something exciting tomorrow, even if you don’t know what it is.

March-April: You’re Pugimous, the black colored pug, today you feel happy. Your food might taste extra good and you might meet a new friend.

May-June: You’re Kibblistic, the fawn-colored pug, today you feel sad. Your food might taste soggy and you will probably just sit inside all day.

July-August: You’re Kibbly, the apricot-colored pug, today you feel bored. Your food might have no taste at all and you probably won’t do anything exciting.

September-October: You’re Pugrocious, the striped pug, today you feel angry. Your food might taste bad and you might even bite someone.

November-December: You’re Kibblim, the white-colored pug, you feel deep. You might not feel like eating and you might feel more like philosophizing, instead.

The News:

Today a pug was spotted red-pawed stealing Ol’ Granny May’s purse. “I was just going to pet him and he reached up and took my purse!” says Ol’ Granny May in anger. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to see if she had any food in her purse!” Protests the pug.

Ads:

Male black middle-aged pug looking for a companion. Must like food, food, pugs, and food. Meet at local pug friendly cafe.

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